Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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