Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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