2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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