Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
