hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize