We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
