She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
