sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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