the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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