Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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