I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
