Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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