So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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