Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
