it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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