Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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