moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
