The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
