We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
