that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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