Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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