reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She needs sedatives and a leash
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
