At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
