So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
