i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
