I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
