nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
