You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
