ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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