What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
