What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No subtext here. People are naked.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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