she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
