Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
