just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
