That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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