I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
