Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
