Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
