at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
