You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i've created a new STD.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i out mim tonsoeep
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