do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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