What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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