Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
