apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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