We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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