BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
