I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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