I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Are we still banned from the library?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
