I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
