my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
